Just a little something..

If a man wants you,nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. It is what it is. We have to stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. We have to allow our INTUITION to save us from heartache. We have to stop trying to change ourselves for a relationship that is or not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live our life for a person before we find what makes us truly happy. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend, that's where it starts....don't settle. If we feel like we are being "stringed" along, then mostly likely, we are. We shouldn't stay because we think "it will get better". You'll be mad at yourself later for staying when things never got any better. The only person you can control in a relationship is YOU. yup..!! YOU!! Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. Ladies, if something is bothering you, speak up. He won't know what's the deal, they aren't that smart. Just know when is the right time to bring it up. Don't attack them with the problem, lay it out. Never let him KNOW everything. he will use it against you LATER. Ladies, we can NOT change a man's behavior. Changes comes from within. If he don't see whats wrong with the picture, HE don't see it. Don't ever make him feel he is more important that you are..he will take it to his advantage. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. NEVER BORROW SOMEONE ELSE'S MAN!! That's a NO NO! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat ON YOU. A man will only treat us the way we ALLOW him to treat us. ALL MEN ARE NOT DOGS!! just most of em! You should not be the only doing all the bending..compromise is a two way street. Ladies should put more JUST because we are more passionate. NO. Take the time to heal between relationships, there is NOTHING CUTE ABOUT BAGGAGE. Deal with the issues before pursuing a new relationship. Don't look for someone to complete you, a relationship consists of TWO WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimenary, not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.Right. Make him miss you sometimes... =] When a man always know where you are, and you are always readily available to him, he take it for GRANTED. What I'm trying to say i guess is, don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others..

got it from a friend...

i was supposed to blog about my bday weekend but i couldnt..another time when im in a happier mood i guess. but yeah...i think this is worth reading..

After awhile, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
You learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security.
You begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.
You begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult and not the grief of a child.
You learn to build your roads on today because tomorrows ground is too uncertain for plans. After awhile, you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers..
You learn that you can really endure, that you are really strong, and you really do have worth..
- Anonymous

hope you guys enjoyed it..

Cus I haven't done one..

HEY blog HEY!!
Sorry ive been neglecting you...i blame this thing we call "Twitter"!! I finally jumped on board. lol. but yeah, FIRST off lets congrats my brother and my sis-in-law for thier first baby Maliya Nguyen borned march 12, 2009 8lbs 7.7oz..!! MY FIRST niece..yay me!! Isnt see a cuuuutie or what?!! haha, i dont get to hold her til my birthday week! So im looking forward to that. =] what else, school?? its alright..getting difficult but im holding on. nothing new really..OH YEAH, so i gave up cussing and alcohol for Lent...i was doing soooo goood with NO cussing...til "someone" screwed it up for me..got me a lil too upset that i set it off. =x its alright cus im doing excellent with NO alcohol..i must say..its quit difficult..but it keeps me at home tho. i seriously hate to be out with my friends and they're all drinking; minus me!!! not so pleasant. But its ok, its for Lent...i can resist that temptation. but yeah. Life itself been pretty good i can say. i mean, im not complaining. =] It definitely can be better but im happy i can say. But i am in a confusing situation tho..you know..like im always asking myself, "How can it be wrong when it feels so right?". I mean, to me, its like a justification that can be pursued by anyone or anything. something can be very wrong, even fatal, and still..."feel right". I see myself with this line "whether im wrong or whether im right, i gotta be me." Well, the best way of truly being ourselves is to be grounded in what is true and morally right. Temptations always have a surface plausibility to them such as in phrases like, "what happens in vegas, stays in vegas" or "what they dont know, wont hurt them". Does it???? Is that right..? Does betrayal of a relationship (friends, significant, family, etc..) seperate us or do they travel with us like a cancer on our soul.....I dont know..i feel like there is a boundary with everything that we do and its our choice to make certain calls. At the moment, it feels sooo right and then, it feel totally the opposite. I guess we just learn and move on? But why is it that we end up doing it over and over, its its a bad habit we can't cut off. Anyways, just venting i suppose.

anyways, i LOVE the Keri Hilson "In a Perfect World." I can relate to it i can say. The music video for "knock me down" ...WOW. i love it. anyways, i feel like im running out of this to write about. im tired and i have the coughs. i think i cough it for an anonymous person...ugh.
>>>>but yeah, meet my friend, his name is Viet [typical vietnamese name..lol] and hes funny...

quick one...

Beside the fact that im waiting til its time to go to my class, the weather is weird as heck. One minute is hot then its windy and cold. im NOT liking that. During my break, i actually went in the middle of the campus and laid out a blanket and did my studies right in the middle of the grassy area. Cars are driving by, people are walking pass me, but i was able to get more studying done there then in the library. there was these two guys that came out to the grass area and um....yeah, they were throwing a boomerang around. My studying got distracted with that cus i can't hepl but to keep on looking at the boomerang because i didn't want that thing to hit me in the head/face or something. it was kinda funny tho. The sun was out and i liked how it was shining on my back while i laid there...studying..& for them lady bugs, thos insects are scary. One of them things flew in my hair and i went crazy..*shivers*. I ended my study outside in the open because it got windy and my notes went flying..i don't want to keep running after them so i went to the library..there, study was not that successful. Anyways, i had a good 45 minutes nap in the library though. Now I'm here, blogging, updating i suppose.

what is up with Chris Brown tho??!!! Man, its shocking but i guess...Hearing how Rihanna got a busted lip, her nose bled and how she looked f*cked up on the photo they took of her at the hospital.."she was badly beaten & terrified". WOW. He really don't seem like a person to get crazy & "choke" a female telling her he going to "kill her". Honestly, whatever the argument was about, it didn't have to end up that why...

thats the thing, being a female myself[duhhhh]...we sometimes dont know when to SHUT THE F*#k UP!! Seriously...we want to keep talking, accusing, always wanting to have the LAST freaking word. Not all the good guys can put up with that kind of attitude. Them being human also, do get fed up. Check, && when he do give up & let chu yell, cuss, and all that sh*t that we female do in an argument, we get even more upset cus he aint sayin shit...the next step we do, we provoke them with either MORE bullshit or even put our hands on them. NOT GOOD ladies..!! TRUST. its all out of respect. Don't ever think that just because you're a lady, its ok for you to hit a dude...you just don't. A guy wont hit a lady but he sure will smack a BITCH..and if you're being a bitch..thats on you....

anyways, more on this later..got to head to pyschology class. think about.

blog later.

=]

cus Valentine's is near ...??

I don't get holidays sometimes..for example..valentine's day. Are you serious?! why mark a day to give a person a reason to do something super nice for their significant other..?? February 14th, the day[thee ONLY day] most of the guys plan something special for their lady..better yet, they plan something nice and get something nice...i dont know..i feel like most guys do it cus they feel obligated to do something just for that day. i mean..then everything goes back to normal..hmm..weird. but yeah..im not a big fan of vday..most people get super excited...they pick that day to hook up, get married..haha..i just dont really like it..well, i dont HATE it..just not a big fan i guess. I mean, i think people are suppose to be surprising and spontaneous randomly. that what makes the sparks going right..so whats with vday.... you're going to surprise her/him on the day that she/he already might have an idea that you're planning something...HA. funny. OR, this is sad too, the day is getting close and you're asking yourself, "what am i getting for vday?" then you think of all the possibilities and the day comes, you get nothing..no chocolate, flowers, card, or suprirse! [typical vday gifts..] bummer right?!! YES...people get their hopes up thinking their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/lover..[whatevers you want it to be..] & they end up not getting you anything. dont get ME wrong on this, its all about the quality [undivided attention and uncondtional love & happiness] your significant gives but its doesnt hurt to do little surprises..catch her offguard and TA-DAAAAA..."happy vday my love" typa thang...i dont know..im just saying..ladies...fellas..don't get chur lover hopes up...and dont be such a dick/bitch also.

anyways, moving on to a different topic...So i was wondering..this is hella randoms. heres an incident..YOU have a boyfriend/girlfriend that you been wtih for a while right...things arent always the BEST[we all know that] and its not always soo dreadful[i hope NOT]...what would you do or how would you react that your significant other broke up with you..in a silent-mode..kinda way like.."we're broken up but im not going to tell him/her". you call them and they still answer and talk to you..but its always one word answers..say it been going on for sooo long and all this time, you thought the relationship was still rollin'...DAMN, thats fucked up right..i mean, if that shit happend to me, i be pretty damn upset..HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WAS MY BOYFRIEND AND I DID THAT TO YOU?? hmmm...

which lead me to the last random subject..open-relationship...you knooo....the kind where you both mutually agree that its ok to date other people too. but you love each and you see yourself with one another..but its an OPEN-RELATIONSHIP. before, i thought that was weird..but come to think about it, i think some people just cant really commit to one person..yeah, i love you but i want to test the water..see all the fishy and see what they all taste like..ya feel me??!! call me crazy [actually DONT!] but there are couples out there that are like that.. thats some weird shit to me...can a person really LOVE one person and be itimate with others..ehhh...im glad i have someone that is with me and ONLY wants to be with me. hes funny & i love the guy even when he drives me crazy, makes me wanna pull my hair out & sock him squared in the face..!! [i love him so much!] so yeah, i dont know..but i guess we're all different..something for me to think about i guess..sleep on and hopefully find a reasonable answer. insomnia is nooo blehs.

til then....
p e a c e & l o v e

Writer's Block....

thanks to Mr.Bess...this video cracks me up everytime. took me awhile to find it. ANYWAYS....

sooo im still stuck on this writer's block!!! [since midnight!] this damn paper is due @ 11:00am and all i have is my heading, title and thats all. WOW. not only that i have this blockage..but i had other crap that was running my mind. its all good, i got it all figured out. I must say, I LOVE MYSELF...for always doing what is best to my knowledge so that i can LOOK OUT FOR MYSELF. thanks to a tiny small amount of heads for helping me...and agreeing with me. Other people don't understand..or they do but don't want to admit it. f*#k that, MY gut is always right..it hasn't been wrong. so yeahhh.... back to this lovely paper.

til then.. p e a c e.

the past linger still.

Trust is like a vase..once its broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be the same again.

believe that sh*t. later gator!

WANT!!!

<<-------- YOU see that?! ! that is what i want! i don't know why i'm constantly eating excessively. i eat eat eat..Not only that, i'm lazy to go to the gym. my sister and mother has bad timing with the gym. they either go after the family just got done eating, or they go after I GOT done eating. ok...! but really, there is no excuse. IF i want that body, i gotta work hard for it. sooooo, ima really MAKE time to hit up the gym. i guess its a bit difficult to work out alone...my sister and mother don't really workout...they chill in the pool, meditate in the steamroom and crack jokes in the sauna...LOL. really. sooo when i DO go with them, i'm pretty much working out alone and that's BORING! but its ok tho cus as long as i GET that bomb sexy body...YES!!!! hehehe.








other then that, I ENJOYED my dance class. it really wasn't what i expected but its cool. its a hip hop dance class..but its more of the bboy, locking, popping moves..cus my instructor, shes a bgirl dancer!!! Awesome. =] http://www.anticsperformance.com/Catfox%20Bio.html AMY "BGIRL CATFOX" CAMPION.

[none]

School on Monday was...well...chill i supposed. So far, all my professors are chill. I'm not all that great about my English (critical thinking) prof...i thought i had a potty mouth..mannn, she cuss so much its ridiculous. =[ i mean, she is a professor and she seem like a regular over-sized lady that dont seem to love her life. whatevers. as long as she teach and i do work i guess im ok with it. Lets see what else am i taking..History which i dont need anymore since i switched major. but oh well, the prof. seems to be cool so lets see if i learn much. lol. then i had speech..wow. That class makes me real nervous. I talk a lot but that class makes me feel super tiny. My psychology class is ehh, the prof is weird. It dont take a lot to make her all giggly and happy. LOL. btw, thats the last class of the day [Mondays & Wednesdays]. I'm waiting on Friday cus i have the hiphop dance class. =] Sooooo, lets get As & Bs shall we....!!!! =]


ANYWAYS..i miss the break. it went by sooo fast. I did a lot i guess. or not a lot but i spent my time accordingly. =] Vegas & all, sleepovers, puttin' my cosmetology skills into work. =] good times. i miss it. I wish i was longerrrr. DONT we all. but yeah, there is something that buggs me tho..you know how being in a relationship isnt always the prettiest picture perfect typa thing. i dont know if other couple had this before but it kinda buggs me when im with my significant other and i feel as if our friends dont really see me...they dont see the him and her...but they see the him and "her"....blehs..i dont know. maybe its me but i feel like people we know saw the issues and think, "what the heck??" but i dont care. People can and will judge the book by its cover. right??

back to my reading and research.
i love the good ol' days tho..

" I'll let you know.."

I totally forgot about this...it goes a little something like this, so you know how you invite your friends out and about. You let them know about whats going on and when and where its going to be and whatnot and they give you a YES. then when the day comes or the day before, you check in with them and they give you the, "maybe..im not sure" answer....haha. really nice. Honestly, I'm the type of person that is straight forward. It's either you're going or you're not. simple. no big deal. I dont understand why people have to beat around the bushes for. its soo annoying. If you really know you're not in the mood to go out or what not, just say it so that for a person like ME, i can figure out a plan B, C, D and so on...!! its not that difficult people. its not ONLY when you invite a friend out..its ALSO when a friend invited you OUT and ditch you. For example, if you call me to make plans with me and then when its also time to get ready, you're going to call and said some bullsh*t like, "hey sorry, can't do today cus i'm going to chill with person B instead..". thats some shady shit. That kind of thing really aggravates me. OR when i text/call them and they ignore that sh*t. wtf!!! dont be immature ya know. i dont like flakers, and booboo excuses givers.

its black and white; YES or NOOOO. none or that, "i dont know yet, i'll let you know later, let's see how i feel" sentence. dont do it with me. its not cool.
[the end.]

Kindness much?

So i was thinking....i am a kind person. [dont you think???] when it comes to my real friends, i will do pretty much anything for them. To see that they acknowledged that quality in me, sometimes i feel like that get so used to it that they over do things: even used me in some kind of way. i don't know if that makes any sense but thats how i feel. People want to act all friendly with me, asking me for help here and there, be hella cool with me and then "poof"..whats good buddy..??!! yeah, its something like that. lately, i havent been feeling friendly much with certain "friends" and yeah, its a bit irritating. Sometimes i cant help but to let things go cus i hate to hold grudges or be in silent mode. but lately, my mouth have the urge to spit out a lot. Trust, what i have to say to a couple certain friends, they will not like it...better yet, they probably feel like they didnt do anything wrong or even intentionally. There is always some booboo waacky excuses for their action. Like for reals, you serious...? I love my friends but im starting to get fed up with the way im treated. I don't do my friends wrong but i feel like i should start treating them the way they treat me just to give them a taste of their actions. Why you going to me like that....waaahhh..lol. nah freals tho, i aint gunna cry about. ima do it right. i loose friends cus they arent real friends to began with. [point blank]
***HOW FUNNY!!!*** i just got done watching a show about today topic...friends taking advantages of their friend's kindness....wow.


another thing, i feel like trusting people words is ehhh. whatevers. this blog is done.
goood day.

2thousand9...

Its 2thousand9..I want things to go smoother for me this year. F*#k the drama from the past. I'm not trying to drag that into the new year. Its there don't get me wrong. The past will always be there and sometimes, it's going to messed with ya. But I'm about to be stronger and I pray to God and hope he give me the guidance to keep a positive mind and soul. I'm done with people taking my love and kindness for granted. I was foolish last year but this year, its a turn around. There were too many broken promises and my heart been aching like never before. That's all about to end because this year around, I want the realest in life. No more game, no more bullshit. Either people are going to be stepping with me, or they're going to get left behind. No more turning back; I got to keep going forward. I have to stop letting people and other things pull me back....there is a lot to do this year..

1.SCHOOL- On the real, I definitely got to get this thing on track and STAY on track. No more ditching classes, procrasinating and then withdrawing from any of my classes. I been doing that sh*t since 2003!!! that is why I'm still at Cerritos College. Gotta get with it or Ima freals GET LOST!! Grades, no more being satisfied with an average "C" dude. That sh*t isn't cute at ALL!! I am NOT going to settle for that this year. I AM GOING TO DO GREAT THIS YEAR!! THAT IS MY MAIN GOAL!! I can't be sticking with the same boo boo routine. Sh*t got to goooo.

2.WORK- Last semester, i went through school jobless and I relied on my financial aid. BIG NO NO!! So since my class schedule is flexible this semester, MY ASS is getting a JOB. I need that extra money. I see other people working 2-3 jobs and going to school full-time. SH*T!!! If they can do that, me working one freaking job and schooling full-time should be a piece of cake. No problemo right??!!! I got to start saving hecka money for soo many things! DEBTS is the main financial problem.

3.HAPPINESS, LOVE, & HEALTH- Yup!!!! all three must and will be consistent!! I have to frown less because that sh*t give my face wrinkle!! NOOONE of that! For reals though, I want to be more happy all day everyday. I know there will be times where the other side will come out but I want to be able to brush it off and smile happily. Like people say, Life is too short to be sad, upset, frowning, crying,worrying about the WRONG thang!! So I am going to think twice before I let this pretty face get sh*tface. =] LOVE...*sigh* oh how the L word is sooo stressful. THIS YEAR FOR REAL, my love is going to be on a whole different level. Love life was NOT the best for me last year, but Im still in Love. Love, I got to be able to Trust so I'm still waiting on my heart to open up.....again. It's a sad thing that I lost trust ya know. It is truely hard to gain it back once it been abused. Sometimes I don't think people understand that. To Earn my trust back, it really that more that just few weeks of kisses, i love yous, and what not. Every little thing can either build that TRUST again or it can simple make TRUSTING a lot more difficult to earn back. Actions speak so much louder that words. Love is and was never an easy thing to deal with. I pray that God help me get throught this soon and that he helps him to do right because i HOPE he understand how much this TRUST means to me. Lets just continue to pray on it. One thing though, I AM done with giving out chances!! NO MORE cus after what I recently went through, mannn. Moving on to HEALTH!!! Man do I eat as I please! =[ Not good. I really got to watch what I eat. I definitely have to cut down on eating FAST FOOD!! ewww!! Not only that, I have to be consistent with going to the gym!!! Now that I have a iPOD, haha, I can go and do my thang. I want to stay fit! Not stop with everything once I feel satisfied with my figures. Less fat, NO MORE SODAS!!!!!!, and less carb/sodium.

so yeah, im shooting for those 3 main goals for this year and hopefully i will pull through and get it all accomplish. =] ohhh how I'm soo excited. haha.