Writer's Block....

thanks to Mr.Bess...this video cracks me up everytime. took me awhile to find it. ANYWAYS....

sooo im still stuck on this writer's block!!! [since midnight!] this damn paper is due @ 11:00am and all i have is my heading, title and thats all. WOW. not only that i have this blockage..but i had other crap that was running my mind. its all good, i got it all figured out. I must say, I LOVE MYSELF...for always doing what is best to my knowledge so that i can LOOK OUT FOR MYSELF. thanks to a tiny small amount of heads for helping me...and agreeing with me. Other people don't understand..or they do but don't want to admit it. f*#k that, MY gut is always right..it hasn't been wrong. so yeahhh.... back to this lovely paper.

til then.. p e a c e.

the past linger still.

Trust is like a vase..once its broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be the same again.

believe that sh*t. later gator!

WANT!!!

<<-------- YOU see that?! ! that is what i want! i don't know why i'm constantly eating excessively. i eat eat eat..Not only that, i'm lazy to go to the gym. my sister and mother has bad timing with the gym. they either go after the family just got done eating, or they go after I GOT done eating. ok...! but really, there is no excuse. IF i want that body, i gotta work hard for it. sooooo, ima really MAKE time to hit up the gym. i guess its a bit difficult to work out alone...my sister and mother don't really workout...they chill in the pool, meditate in the steamroom and crack jokes in the sauna...LOL. really. sooo when i DO go with them, i'm pretty much working out alone and that's BORING! but its ok tho cus as long as i GET that bomb sexy body...YES!!!! hehehe.








other then that, I ENJOYED my dance class. it really wasn't what i expected but its cool. its a hip hop dance class..but its more of the bboy, locking, popping moves..cus my instructor, shes a bgirl dancer!!! Awesome. =] http://www.anticsperformance.com/Catfox%20Bio.html AMY "BGIRL CATFOX" CAMPION.

[none]

School on Monday was...well...chill i supposed. So far, all my professors are chill. I'm not all that great about my English (critical thinking) prof...i thought i had a potty mouth..mannn, she cuss so much its ridiculous. =[ i mean, she is a professor and she seem like a regular over-sized lady that dont seem to love her life. whatevers. as long as she teach and i do work i guess im ok with it. Lets see what else am i taking..History which i dont need anymore since i switched major. but oh well, the prof. seems to be cool so lets see if i learn much. lol. then i had speech..wow. That class makes me real nervous. I talk a lot but that class makes me feel super tiny. My psychology class is ehh, the prof is weird. It dont take a lot to make her all giggly and happy. LOL. btw, thats the last class of the day [Mondays & Wednesdays]. I'm waiting on Friday cus i have the hiphop dance class. =] Sooooo, lets get As & Bs shall we....!!!! =]


ANYWAYS..i miss the break. it went by sooo fast. I did a lot i guess. or not a lot but i spent my time accordingly. =] Vegas & all, sleepovers, puttin' my cosmetology skills into work. =] good times. i miss it. I wish i was longerrrr. DONT we all. but yeah, there is something that buggs me tho..you know how being in a relationship isnt always the prettiest picture perfect typa thing. i dont know if other couple had this before but it kinda buggs me when im with my significant other and i feel as if our friends dont really see me...they dont see the him and her...but they see the him and "her"....blehs..i dont know. maybe its me but i feel like people we know saw the issues and think, "what the heck??" but i dont care. People can and will judge the book by its cover. right??

back to my reading and research.
i love the good ol' days tho..

" I'll let you know.."

I totally forgot about this...it goes a little something like this, so you know how you invite your friends out and about. You let them know about whats going on and when and where its going to be and whatnot and they give you a YES. then when the day comes or the day before, you check in with them and they give you the, "maybe..im not sure" answer....haha. really nice. Honestly, I'm the type of person that is straight forward. It's either you're going or you're not. simple. no big deal. I dont understand why people have to beat around the bushes for. its soo annoying. If you really know you're not in the mood to go out or what not, just say it so that for a person like ME, i can figure out a plan B, C, D and so on...!! its not that difficult people. its not ONLY when you invite a friend out..its ALSO when a friend invited you OUT and ditch you. For example, if you call me to make plans with me and then when its also time to get ready, you're going to call and said some bullsh*t like, "hey sorry, can't do today cus i'm going to chill with person B instead..". thats some shady shit. That kind of thing really aggravates me. OR when i text/call them and they ignore that sh*t. wtf!!! dont be immature ya know. i dont like flakers, and booboo excuses givers.

its black and white; YES or NOOOO. none or that, "i dont know yet, i'll let you know later, let's see how i feel" sentence. dont do it with me. its not cool.
[the end.]

Kindness much?

So i was thinking....i am a kind person. [dont you think???] when it comes to my real friends, i will do pretty much anything for them. To see that they acknowledged that quality in me, sometimes i feel like that get so used to it that they over do things: even used me in some kind of way. i don't know if that makes any sense but thats how i feel. People want to act all friendly with me, asking me for help here and there, be hella cool with me and then "poof"..whats good buddy..??!! yeah, its something like that. lately, i havent been feeling friendly much with certain "friends" and yeah, its a bit irritating. Sometimes i cant help but to let things go cus i hate to hold grudges or be in silent mode. but lately, my mouth have the urge to spit out a lot. Trust, what i have to say to a couple certain friends, they will not like it...better yet, they probably feel like they didnt do anything wrong or even intentionally. There is always some booboo waacky excuses for their action. Like for reals, you serious...? I love my friends but im starting to get fed up with the way im treated. I don't do my friends wrong but i feel like i should start treating them the way they treat me just to give them a taste of their actions. Why you going to me like that....waaahhh..lol. nah freals tho, i aint gunna cry about. ima do it right. i loose friends cus they arent real friends to began with. [point blank]
***HOW FUNNY!!!*** i just got done watching a show about today topic...friends taking advantages of their friend's kindness....wow.


another thing, i feel like trusting people words is ehhh. whatevers. this blog is done.
goood day.

2thousand9...

Its 2thousand9..I want things to go smoother for me this year. F*#k the drama from the past. I'm not trying to drag that into the new year. Its there don't get me wrong. The past will always be there and sometimes, it's going to messed with ya. But I'm about to be stronger and I pray to God and hope he give me the guidance to keep a positive mind and soul. I'm done with people taking my love and kindness for granted. I was foolish last year but this year, its a turn around. There were too many broken promises and my heart been aching like never before. That's all about to end because this year around, I want the realest in life. No more game, no more bullshit. Either people are going to be stepping with me, or they're going to get left behind. No more turning back; I got to keep going forward. I have to stop letting people and other things pull me back....there is a lot to do this year..

1.SCHOOL- On the real, I definitely got to get this thing on track and STAY on track. No more ditching classes, procrasinating and then withdrawing from any of my classes. I been doing that sh*t since 2003!!! that is why I'm still at Cerritos College. Gotta get with it or Ima freals GET LOST!! Grades, no more being satisfied with an average "C" dude. That sh*t isn't cute at ALL!! I am NOT going to settle for that this year. I AM GOING TO DO GREAT THIS YEAR!! THAT IS MY MAIN GOAL!! I can't be sticking with the same boo boo routine. Sh*t got to goooo.

2.WORK- Last semester, i went through school jobless and I relied on my financial aid. BIG NO NO!! So since my class schedule is flexible this semester, MY ASS is getting a JOB. I need that extra money. I see other people working 2-3 jobs and going to school full-time. SH*T!!! If they can do that, me working one freaking job and schooling full-time should be a piece of cake. No problemo right??!!! I got to start saving hecka money for soo many things! DEBTS is the main financial problem.

3.HAPPINESS, LOVE, & HEALTH- Yup!!!! all three must and will be consistent!! I have to frown less because that sh*t give my face wrinkle!! NOOONE of that! For reals though, I want to be more happy all day everyday. I know there will be times where the other side will come out but I want to be able to brush it off and smile happily. Like people say, Life is too short to be sad, upset, frowning, crying,worrying about the WRONG thang!! So I am going to think twice before I let this pretty face get sh*tface. =] LOVE...*sigh* oh how the L word is sooo stressful. THIS YEAR FOR REAL, my love is going to be on a whole different level. Love life was NOT the best for me last year, but Im still in Love. Love, I got to be able to Trust so I'm still waiting on my heart to open up.....again. It's a sad thing that I lost trust ya know. It is truely hard to gain it back once it been abused. Sometimes I don't think people understand that. To Earn my trust back, it really that more that just few weeks of kisses, i love yous, and what not. Every little thing can either build that TRUST again or it can simple make TRUSTING a lot more difficult to earn back. Actions speak so much louder that words. Love is and was never an easy thing to deal with. I pray that God help me get throught this soon and that he helps him to do right because i HOPE he understand how much this TRUST means to me. Lets just continue to pray on it. One thing though, I AM done with giving out chances!! NO MORE cus after what I recently went through, mannn. Moving on to HEALTH!!! Man do I eat as I please! =[ Not good. I really got to watch what I eat. I definitely have to cut down on eating FAST FOOD!! ewww!! Not only that, I have to be consistent with going to the gym!!! Now that I have a iPOD, haha, I can go and do my thang. I want to stay fit! Not stop with everything once I feel satisfied with my figures. Less fat, NO MORE SODAS!!!!!!, and less carb/sodium.

so yeah, im shooting for those 3 main goals for this year and hopefully i will pull through and get it all accomplish. =] ohhh how I'm soo excited. haha.